The Infamous UPS Sales Slogan

So there I was, beasting my schoolwork, working on what would be a guaranteed A+, when suddenly, a UPS commercial comes on. It was typical queer BS, about how they're the number one service ever, and you're gay if you use anything else. But their slogan caught my attention: "What can Brown do for you?". After giving it some serious thought, I came up with a small list of possibilities, of what brown is good for.

1. Peel your wallpaper.

2. Attract the opposite sex.

3. Stain your good shorts.

4. Cause you to miss a meeting.

5. Ruin your reputation.

6. Make your job as a janitor more frustrating.

7. Heat your home.

8. Clog your intestines.

9. Cause your packages to arrive late.

10. Hip-Hop.

11. An excellent prank.

12. Substitute catfood.

13. A Paperweight.

14. The environment.

15. Waterbomb.

16. Revenge against a landlord.

17. Two Girls, One Cup.

18. Chocolate Pudding.

19. Chocolate Rain.

20. Lincoln Logs.

21. Tonka Truck Debris. (Made in China)

22. Car Fuel.

23. Dessert.

24. This Blog.

25. One large mess.

I encourage you and your friends to try any or all of the methods listed, on the condition that if you do so, you'll send me photos worth publishing. Now get out there, and make some brown!